You can never bring it to me

If I remember them every day
sooner or later the medicines take
and there I am all alone in time
a room where I need nothing else
where I don't let the telephone ring
time marks itself in subtle ways as
I try and put everything in its place
trying to bring my own devastation
so I never have to fear it again
and you can never bring it to me.

the spikes of that opiate dream

sometimes but it was only at night
when I could feel time passing by
like a breeze over the searching tips
of the spikes of that opiate dream
I heard others screaming out in pain
but other times, and only at night
it was me.

just move along

her memory will walk around with me for years
and remind me of how difficult things can become
I'll remember her in painter's light hitting the world
the lingering smell of woodsmoke after a fire
and her easy laugh about it all

We come to agreement with life's tragedy
it bleeds away a drip at a time not faster
drip you are more alone
drip you are less strong
you lose your surety and color

but you move on.