Saturday, August 14, 2010

I no longer sizzle across the city at night

I no longer sizzle across the city at night

I no longer sizzle across the city at night
a burning arrow whooshing for the target

I can see the dry and strident light blaze
from the window of your spiritless house

Sometimes I long to come in from chaos
that surrounds me here in natural light

But I gather my spirits and hold them close
and count my verdant rain-wet riches

I move forward slower towards the goal
My aim approaching the truth.

1 comment:

  1. I no longer sizzle across the city at night
    a burning arrow whooshing for the target
    I move forward slower towards the goal
    My aim approaching the truth.



    good lines in the poem

    Consider using a wet fire-or smoldering metaphor -or like coal a hot yet more contained fire in the line "I move forward slower towards the goal" for better cohesiveness

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